Archive for January, 2008

Smooth…

Daar is maniere en dan is daar maniere om n girl se aandag te kry… nie waar nie! Jy bou daar toe op. Jy stap nie na die eerste girl wat jy in n bar sien en sê vir haar “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours?” of selfs erger “Now that you’ve seen mine, show me yours!?!”

Ek kan nie glo dat die tiepe gedrag slegs met ouderdom verbeter nie… maar aarde tog, ek is nog jonk en kan net nie insien dat enige girl daarvoor val nie!

Ek kry n sms die naweek van n ou werks kolega van my ex man, iemand saam met wie ons gereeld gebraai het, wat by ons troue was… ens. En dis heel vriendelik… “hi, hoegaan dit, hoe gaan dit met kleinman…” Hy vertel my toe dat sy ouers na Frankryk gaan vir 8 weke en dat hy home alone gaan wees, ek sê toe vir hom “dis lekker geniet die stilte…”

En hier tref die pawpaw die fan… “So kom slaap jy oor?” Ummm?!? Waar kom dit nou vandaan!!

Maar ek is kalm en sê maar niks nie… hy volg dit toe op met 3 foto’s en n baie intieme video en die mate van sy klein vriend!! En vra so ewe of dit my incentive gee… en dat ek vir hom so paar foto’s moet stuur… Weet laaities net nie meer hoe, is hulle nie geleer of is dit die voorbeeld van die ouers wat deur kom. Ek was stom geslaan, ek ken die kind se ouers goed, sy ma het al na my seun gekyk. Die is nie die tiepe mense wat hulle is nie!

Ek vra toe maar vir hom of die tiepe ding ooit vir hom werk, en hy antwoord heel trots op hom self “jip!” nou ja hoe stry mens dan nou daarmee…lol

Nou wil ek in alle eerlikheid weet, waste girl met n ounce van trots gaan daarvoor val?!? Mens bou mos n grondslag om op te werk… vra die girl uit vir n nice ete, nooi haar vir n braai. Wine en dine haar vir n paar weke, wees n vriend, luister en gesels… dis die vinigste manier na n girl se hart, nie waar nie? En n girl se hart is die sleutel tot als…

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Self-pity…

I hate self-pity, not just in others but in myself as well… I read my blog today, and that’s all I see… self-pity! And I had this urge to delete every damn post I made about me, my ex and so on… but then again with them I would have to delete the comments of people who, not knowing me, cared enough to try and help, give advice or even just a sympathetic and kind word…

 

I look around me and see so many people whose lives are harder than mine… I can still feed, clothe, and put a roof over my child’s head… I have never had to feel the pain of fists on my body, put there by someone loved… I have never had to look on in helpless silence as my child is being abused… I have so much to be thankful for and it’s high time I start being thankful for them!

 

I wont make promises to my self that I wont keep, I wont say that I will never again throw a pity party… what I will promise to my self is to find at least one good thing in every day…

 

And today’s feel good thing was my son sitting in his car seat, reaching out to touch my shoulder and giving me the widest smile, filled with glee… because he saw a big yellow bus! Seeing the world through your child’s eyes, I was told by a friend and fully agree, is like seeing the world for the first time!

hpim0317.jpg 

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En so gaan dit een van die dae klink…

Goue lokies en die drie beertjies…

Baba beer sit op sy klein stoeltjie by die tavel en staar voor hom uit na sy lee papbordjie… 

 Baba beer “Wie’t my pappies geeet?”

Pappa beer kyk na sy groot pap bord…

Pappa beer “Wie die duiwel het my pap geeet?!?”

Mamma beer kom om die draai gestap, die duiwel in haar oe…

Mamma beer “Ek het nog nie die Foken pap gemaak nie, die krag is af!”

 Pappa beer stel baie fies voor dat hulle maar na Wimpy gaan…

Gouelokkies kom onverwags by die klein huisie aan en sien dat die alarm nie aan is nie. Sy ruk uit haar cell uit, bel Die Wolf en besteel die beertjies rot en kaal…

Die einde.

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Story book love…

I have loved twice in my live… twice that I have given my heart in full only to find that my heart is not enough to give the other joy. 

My love was not enough for my ex husband to remain my husband and a father to our child… though he still claims to love me, and then in the next breath tells me that he is a heterosexual woman!… my love was not enough. I thought that after the heart brake of loosing the only person I thought I could love, that I would give up on it all together… 

Then I met a man that showed me that I could love others with all my heart… just to find that yet again love was not enough… story book love is not real, it’s a hope and a dream. Something we all strive to get in life, but few, if any, ever do… I do not think I was ment to be loved… you see I do believe in love, I know it is real in so many shapes and forms… I love my son in one way, my mother in another… but that love between a man and a woman, that love that tells you, you belong, that you are wanted, in more ways than one… That is the love I want, the love I need and the love I don’t think I will ever find… 

I did not write this to hurt anyone, I wrote it because this is how I feel, this is what I long for… 

Come What May

By Nicole Kidman & Euan MacGregor  

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I’ve never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Come back to me, and forgive everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

[Chorus:]
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn’t seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there’s no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I’ll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time
[Chorus]

Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

# I hope that we all find a love like this oneday…

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Die selfsugtigheid van mense…

 

Ek verstaan dit net nie… Triston het pampoentjies, ek bel sy pa net om hom te laat weet sy kind is siek… hy antwoord nie die foon – ek het seker net my self daaroor te blaam! Ek bel hom so aanhoudend oor die steeds onbetaalde onderhoud dat ek dink die man word naar as hy my nommer sien… maar dis nou nie hier of daar nie…

 

Ek los toe maar n voice message op sy cell, maar al wat ek terug ontvang is “ja dis reg so” nie, is hy ok? Het hy iets nodig? Was hy by die doctor? Hoe is dit dat n pa so kan optree… so min kan omgee oor sy eie kind??

 

Ek stuur n sms aan daai nice vriend van my, om hom te laat weet dat Triston toe nou wel by hom aangesteek het… nie eers n minuut later lui my foon… en n man wat nie my kind se pa is stel soveel meer belang aan die welsyn van my siek seuntjie! Hoe is dit moontlik?!?

 

As Triston elke tweede naweek by sy pa is, bel ek elke dag om te hoor of hy ok is. Die ander twee weke wat hy by my is hoor ek nie hond of haar van sy pa nie… ek het al gewonder of hy sal agter kom as ek hom net glad nie bel om reelings te tref vir sy naweke met Triston. Sal dit net nie insink nie… of sal hy sy seun wel mis???

 

Ek weet nie, dalk is dit maar beter as hy so stil, stil uit Triston se lewe weg glip… ek weet ek gaan dit kan handle en Triston sal dit ook kan handle wanner Etienne oor slaan na Michelle. Maar sal dit nie net so veel makliker wees op Triston, Etienne en my as Triston nooit daarmee hoef te deel nie… dis die cowards way out, ek weet. Ek sien net glad nie uit na die volgende paar jaar se doen en late nie…  

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